I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
