I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
