So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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