Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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