What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
