Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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