Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
