and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Shame - the story of my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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