I'm so fucking centered right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
