O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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