Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
