I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
