I hate all girls vehemently.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
