Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

(678): View more from Georgia

I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

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(979): View more from Texas

I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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(407): View more from Florida

She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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(713): View more from Texas

If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.

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(518): View more from New York

I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(917): View more from New York City

level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.

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