david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
