Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
