I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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