shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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