So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This toilet bowl is my home.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
