I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
