You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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