I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize