Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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