Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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