Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
