Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
