I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize