The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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