Michael Bay diarrhea
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
