I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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