I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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