peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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