break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
