i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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