So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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