My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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