you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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