She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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