Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(303): View more from Colorado

these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup

(303): View more from Colorado

now he is talking to a potato

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(386): View more from Florida

You going to midnight mass? we need a dd

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(602): View more from Arizona

This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?

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(503): View more from Oregon

drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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(915): View more from Texas

Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.

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(516): View more from New York

It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair

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