I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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