No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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