He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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