He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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