You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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