You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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