i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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