Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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