I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
