I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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