They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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