i was born a porn star she said
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
