Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish i was in the wii world.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
