Duck Duck Cougar?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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