Only a mothe r could love this liver
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
