He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
either way he was missing a nipple.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
