It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
