Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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