we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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