our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
