do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
