...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
