I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
