i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
