I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
