Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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