I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
