the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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