I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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