I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize