I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
