are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
operation have a gay friend backfired
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
