Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
