you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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