Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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