You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hippo gnu deer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
