On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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