We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
