how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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